The Belligerent Years

emilyheller:

I got my first TSA pat down while leaving Seattle yesterday, and I have to say, I feel really pretty. While it was happening, some guy walked by and remarked, “SHE’S having a good time.” Not sure if he was referring to me or my masseuse.

In case you’re wondering, they do NOT like it when you opt out of the full body scan. The cranky old lady who randomly selected me to walk through it was very disappointed when I told her I’d opt for the pat down.

“It’s only 10% of the radiation in your cell phone,” she said.

“Less radiation than flying on the plane,” she said.

“I’d rather someone feel my boobs than see my deformed nipples,” I didn’t say.

The truth is, while I’m sure I’m subjecting myself to much more radiation on the daily by using a cell phone and flying in planes and what not, doing those things actually helps my life in necessary ways. There are no non-radiating cell phones that also feel you up to choose instead. If there were, I would be all over it.

And at the risk of sounding old, I also don’t like the idea that there would be a picture of my naked body in some TSA computer forever. I am also hoping that if enough people raise a stink about this they’ll see that it’s ridiculous.

If you get a chance, opt for the pat down. It actually felt really nice.